Hello everyone,

This time, I wanted to start differently. The opening lines of my last three posts started to feel too similar, and it was bothering me. Lately, the urge to write has become so overwhelming that I sometimes wake up at night with words swirling in my head. Maybe it's because I've finally built a website to freely share my thoughts perhaps that's why this feeling feels more natural.

Today, I'll be jumping from topic to topic, because the more I explain myself, the more I feel like I'm wasting time. Honestly, I feel uneasy today. Unlike most days, I went outside, and it left me unsettled. Seeing people with someone by their side someone who listens and shares made me feel deeply isolated.

You might be thinking, "Look at Ahd, jealous of happy people." But it's not about jealousy. It's about having lost the ability to share my own happiness or troubles. I?ve just passed 26 and am approaching 27. I've always had goals and focused on them, but most of them didn't turn out as expected. In many ways, I feel like I've grown old without really living.

Social pressure doesn't help either. I often hear, "You have a job, you're on the right track why are you still single" But it's more than just marriage. Compared to my ideal vision, many of my peers seem to have progressed far beyond me, while I still worry about the future. When a person achieves something, they naturally feel a void and look for new meaning. Maybe wanting to pass something down to the next generation is one of the few things that keeps people moving forward.

To the younger ones reading this, here's my honest advice: Don't set your expectations too high. Have goals, of course but don't miss out on the moment. Otherwise, you'll be like Ahd here, saying, "If only I could go back ten years." Regret tends to grow with time. I used to laugh at words like that, but now I see the truth in them.

What really triggered me today was my surroundings. In the past, I would distract myself with something or listen to other people's problems to escape my own. Looking back, I think helping others was a form of therapy for me.

That feeling when your own pain feels like a burden, when you pity yourself... It may sound pathetic, but it's human. While writing this, I realized I either wasn't aware of these feelings, or I was but couldn't express them. Most likely, it's the latter.

People listen to you only as long as you're useful. Once you notice that, the loneliness becomes harder to bear. I hesitated about whether or not to publish this post on my site. But in the spirit of being honest with myself, I've decided to share it.

I used to have people I called friends, people I loved and valued. Now, I keep most of these thoughts to myself. Even though I know there are still people who care about me, the realization that relationships often become nothing more than memories hits harder as time passes.

The Takeaway

If you're still young and full of joy, don't put too much weight on your goals. While you still have people around you who truly listen, appreciate them. For those kind souls who might be thinking, "Is Ahd really all alone" don't worry. Ahd?s just feeling emotional. He's not as alone as he makes it sound. He's just withdrawn into his shell and struggling to come out. I'm sure he'll bounce back soon.

For the next post, I'd love for you to decide the topic. Drop a comment with what you'd like me to write about. That way, we'll end this on a more interactive note.

See you soon...